What not to wear.......hmmmm

I know you are all oh-so-familiar with TLC's show "What not to Wear", but does anyone else feel the need to examine yourself with a fine-toothed comb after viewing one of their episodes? Boy - do I see some areas in need of some serious improvement.  Woo!  After watching them tear some poor college student down to the threads and mock her every outfit choice she has made in her life, shamed her brow shaping and laughed at her overgrown locks of hair - and then make her into a goddess by buying her "just the right" clothes, shaping those crazy eyebrows, and cutting and highlighting that head of hair into a thing of pure beauty - I think to myself - I WANT TO GO AND HAVE THEM DO THAT TO ME!!! - minus the mocking.  David says I don't dress poorly enough to be able to get on this show - he smartly says I am WAY too cute to be accepted into such a show (good boy), but I am willing to start dressing freakishly, forgetting to pluck the brows and go without a highlight for 6 months and see if one of my friends will nominate me (any takers?).  Well..........................maybe I wouldn't go to that much of an extreme, but boy does that show make me feel inadequate and like I need a makeover.  I just found myself ordering online that "sheer spray on foundation" that Carmindee uses on the show to see if my skin can glow like that.  I also look at my pants and wonder if they are a "straight enough line" for my body type and if my shirts have enough "rouging" to make all the difference in my shape and how I look.  And - last but not least - why don't I have any pointy-toed shoes?  Apparently this is what makes the looks all happen.  What have I been thinking with my square-toed comfort sandals I've been sportin' all year?  Well - it's good that I am going back to Missouri soon where I shall have cable no more and PBS doesn't tell you how to dress.  I feel a need to do some shopping right now to make myself look, well, cuter.  Oh, their marketing ploys have worked to send me to the stores looking for new duds.  They are just pure evil - don't ya think?  Oi!  Well, I'm off to put on my brown corduroy pants from Gap that I have had for 3 years and my black cami and my jean jacket from Old Navy and my square shoes from Macy's bought last fall.  Maybe when my children are all grown and David and I have saved properly for retirement - I can go on a REAL shopping spree then.  Until that day - Thank you Target, Gap, Old Navy & TJ Maxx for clothing me so wonderfully throughout the years.