Bring on the New Year!

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. I'm telling you like you don't know this information. I just have to say it out-loud so that I can believe it myself.

Has this year gone already?

Has it really been 2 Christmases that I have had my son?

Is my daughter really turning 5 in this upcoming year?

Really?

God has been so good to me. Sooooo good to me, that I feel humbled and guilty and blessed and all sorts of things all at the same time. I am a mom. I didn't have a typical "birthing" experience with my children, but they are mine nonetheless. They are a part of me. We are interwoven and connected and tied together for life. They were chosen for me. God thought I would be just the right mom for them, and David would be the perfect dad. God allowed heart-ache and disappointment in my life and gave me beauty for my ashes. My children are my beauty.

We are at that stage where we are in that limbo of "are we done yet?"or does God have just one more to make this little family complete? We are helpless and weary in this decision process. I think most days we just want to throw up our hands to the heavens and ask God to just answer it for us while we live out our lives with the 2 miracles we have been given. I am completely fulfilled with LG and BB, but I also know that we wouldn't be too upset to find out that BB could be a big brother one day either.

Oh 2010 - whatever will you hold.

David and I have our 13 year anniversary coming up next Monday. Grandma's babysitting and we are going to dinner and maybe to a movie and are just going to celebrate the place that our marriage is at right now. Marriages are never perfect all the time. Some years I find are great, some years I find I want to "trade him in for a diet coke" as I heard someone say once. But, the blessing is that we just keep moving forward. We keep growing. We keep learning and God is with us every step of the way. We are in a great place right now and I am so thankful and so blessed.

We have talked about taking a night in the next few days and really talking about our personal goals for the following year.

I know that Dave wants to run another marathon after he finishes the one next Sunday in Orlando. We both want to reconnect with God in our devotional lives at a stronger level. We want to take the next step in getting involved at the church we are currently attending (totally weird after being on staff at churches for so many years). And, I want to make new friends and connect with the ones I already have on a deeper level.

We want to build the kids a treehouse in the backyard.

I am married to a dreamer, so dreaming is a huge part of our lives. I dream of wonderful things for my family, my self and my children this year. I pray the same for you.

Happy Early New Year's Eve!!!